WOoOops
by Anne Parkington
Summary: *FINISHED!!!*OH NO! Hoggle accidentally killed the Green Fairy from Moulin Rouge when he was going on his rounds….what will happen now when Ewan and Nicole find out?
1. Chapter One

WOoOops.. By: Anne Parkington  
  
Summary: OH NO! Hoggle accidentally killed the Green Fairy from Moulin Rouge when he was going on his rounds..what will happen now when Ewan and Nicole find out?  
  
Disclaimers: puts hand on heart I, Anne Parkington do not own Labyrinth or any of it's rights, Jim Henson.er.Brian Henson does..nor do I own anything from Moulin Rouge, Baz does, and he's a brilliant bastard (heehee, BAZtard.heehee!) I do wish I owned the Green Fairy cuz she's awesome, but I don't.  
  
Dedicated to my friend, Jessie Ju, cuz she was the first person who I told this idea to, oh so long ago.^^  
  
Chapter One  
  
It was just an ordinary day in the Labyrinth. Hoggle was attending to his duties as gardener and spraying all the fairies around his plants, having way to much fun with this sadistic task.  
  
"Twenty Seven!" He cried joyously as he murdered a particularly pretty one. He raised his stubby, knobby hand and wiped the beads of sweat that dotted his forehead and leaned to rest on the mossy wall of the Labyrinth. He closed his eyes lazily and soaked up the sun, and was just about to nap when a high-pitched noise entered his ear. His eyes snapped open. It was singing.  
  
"The hills are alive!" it sang.but where was it coming from? He turned around, and was blinded by a bright green light.  
  
"Wo'!" He cried, shading his eyes with one hand and squinting into the center of the light. In the middle was the most beautiful fairy he had ever seen, with milky white skin, and long wavy red hair. Her lips were bright red and she wore a sexy smirk. She had on a green sequined corset and matching underwear. She winked at him and started doing a rather frightening dance, which consisted of a lot of butt wiggling and shuffles. Hoggle didn't know if he should zap her or go hump a tree or something. He started at her for a second longer, listening to her frighteningly high voice. Suddenly she turned towards him and leaned down, showing her fairy cleavage and clawed at him, her eyes glowing red, and she screamed. Surprised and scared, he shot her with his poison. She stood up straight and gasped, her tiny hands clasped at her delicate throat. She stared at him for a second, before falling to the ground, dead. Hoggle stared. That had to be the most interesting fairy he had encountered. He squatted down next to her and stared. She didn't look like she was from around there.no, her clothes were much to flashy for any of the country bumpkin fairies around his garden. He cocked his head and shrugged. He stood up again and kicked some dirt over her. He was just about to turn and go back to his house for lunch when he heard footsteps behind him. He didn't think anyone wished anyone away lately.but he turned around with a sour face anyway; ready to be unspecific in giving directions. Who he saw however, was not a tearful babysitter who had accidentally wished her client away, or a panic- stricken older sibling who had cast their baby brother or sister to the King.but a young woman with long red hair and startling blue eyes and a young man with straight teeth and messy brown hair.  
  
"May I help you?" Hoggle asked.  
  
"Yes, please." The woman said. She had a girlish British accent. "My name is Nicole Kidman, and this is my friend, Ewan McGregor.we're shooting a movie right now.perhaps you've heard of it, Moulin Rouge...?" She asked hopefully. Hoggle stared blankly at the two taller beings. Nicole cleared her throat and went on, "Well, in this movie is a fairy.she's green, and she's been missing.and I we were given your name.they said you might be able to help us."  
  
Hoggle laughed nervously, "uh, this fairy, it wouldn't be to important, would it, Miss?"  
  
Well that's it for chapter 1..read and review!!  
  
A.P 


	2. Chapter Two

WOoOops.. By: Anne Parkington  
  
Summary: OH NO! Hoggle accidentally killed the Green Fairy from Moulin Rouge when he was going on his rounds..what will happen now when Ewan and Nicole find out?  
  
Disclaimers: puts hand on heart I, Anne Parkington do not own Labyrinth or any of it's rights, Jim Henson.er.Brian Henson does..nor do I own anything from Moulin Rouge, Baz does, and he's a brilliant bastard (heehee, BAZtard.heehee!) I do wish I owned the Green Fairy cuz she's awesome, but I don't.  
  
Dedicated to my friend, Jessie Ju, cuz she was the first person who I told this idea to, oh so long ago.^^  
  
AUTHORS NOTE: Thank you ever so much for the reviews, and I'm sorry about the British/Australian accent mix-up....my mistake. Anyway, I have nothing else to say but onto the next chapter!! Ohhh yeah I do! Ewan, ewan ewan ewan!!!!!!!!  
  
Nicole glowered at Hoggle.  
  
"Is she important!?!" She screamed. "IS SHE IMPORTANT?!!" Ewan grabbed her shoulders.  
  
"Nicole, It's okay." He said, remember our breathing exercises!" Nicole nodded solemnly and inhaled deeply. She closed her eyes, for a moment.  
  
"I'm very sorry, miss!" Hoggle stammered.  
  
Her eyes fluttered open. "What have you done with her?" She asked, in a forced calm voice.  
  
"Well, ya see, Miss, me job here in the Labyrinth is to get rid of all the fairies around my gardens, and so I have this can of fairy poison and I just-"  
  
"YOU KILLED HER??!" Nicole screamed, her face flushing. She put the back of her hand to her forehead and fell gracefully into Ewan's arms in a extremely fake faint. Ewan rolled his eyes before propping her back up.  
  
"It's okay, Nicole, we'll get a new green fairy."  
  
"A new green fairy?" She asked. "Do you really think we could get a new green fairy in the amount of time we have left?!"  
  
Ewan gulped and smiled nervously. "Maybe?"  
  
"Wrong, Ewan!" She snapped. She whirled around to face Hoggle. "And you!" she growled. "I can't even begin with you! You are coming with US back to Australia to tell Baz why his green fairy is missing!"  
  
Hoggle blinked. He didn't know who this 'Baz' was, but he couldn't be more brutal and intimidating as Jareth could he? Too bad he had work to do, Hoggle would have loved to go to Australia, wherever that was.  
  
"I'm sorry, Miss. I have work to do, so I cant come with you, but I'm sure Jareth has time on his hands...since Sarah went back to the upperground." He gave a nervous laugh.  
  
"You don't have a choice!"  
  
"Oh, I know I don't! If I miss work, Jareth will kill me!"  
  
"Who's Jareth?" Ewan asked.  
  
"My boss! He lives in that castle." Hoggle turned and pointed at the castle beyond the goblin city. The two movie stars looked up and stared. It was then, when they suddenly realized where they are. They moved closer to each other and clung to one another's arms.  
  
"Where, exactly are we.." Ewan trailed.  
  
"Hoggle. You are in the Underground. This is King Jareth's Labyrinth, no one has ever made it out." He hit his head. "Darn, I forgot! Only one has made it out! See, I'm still getting used to it."  
  
"The Underground?" Nicole asked fearfully. "Where's that?"  
  
"Under ground, probably." Ewan suggested. Nicole was not amused.  
  
"Now, this Jareth guy, what is he, a horseradish root like you?" Nicole asked. Hoggle flushed.  
  
"I am NOT a horseradish root! I am a goblin! And yes, that is what Jareth is. But I must say he is a bit more handsome than I am. Very tall and dashing he is." Nicole grinned with secret pleasure. She twirled a piece of hair around her finger.  
  
"Tall and dashing?" She bit her lip excitedly. Ewan looked at her.  
  
"What are you thinking?" he asked. She looked at him and smiled.  
  
"Nothing. Um, lets go MEET this Jareth of yours, and maybe we can work something out, yes?" she asked.  
  
Hoggle nodded, and lead them to the door of the Labyrinth. 


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter 3  
  
Hoggle lead them through the gardens in Jareth's backyard, and through the backdoor. They went up a few flights of stone steps and emerged into wide room. Hoggle turned to his guests and smiled.  
  
"You will wait here, while I get Jareth." His smile faded, "But if you happen to hear yelling..I'd advise you to get out as fast as possible."  
  
Ewan and Nicole's eyes widened.  
  
"And, why is that?" Ewan asked, frightened.  
  
"Oh, Jareth has an awful temper. He'll probably put you, AND me, into the bog of eternal stench." Hoggle answered, and skipped off into another room. Ewan looked at Nicole.  
  
"Bog of Eternal Stench!?!" He mouthed. Nicole shrugged.  
  
Hoggle was gone for about 5 minutes when a loud piercing voice broke the silence of the lambs.  
  
(A/N: Heehee just makin' sure you're payin' attention!)  
  
Hoggle was gone for about 5 minutes when a silky voice broke the silence of the room.  
  
"Welcome!" It purred. Ewan and Nicole, who had been looking around the room, jumped and huddled together. They turned in the direction of where the voice had come from and watched as a tall muscular figure walked out of the room Hoggle had gone into. He was dressed in a pair of painfully tight grey spandex and a beige playwright's shirt that wasn't fastened in the front, revealing a patch of smooth bare chest. He held a riding crop in one hand and was running the other through his golden mullet-mane of hair. He smiled at them devilishly, letting them get a good glimpse of his fangs. His mismatched eyes fell upon Nicole and he let out a soft purr. She wasn't fully immune to his David Bowie-ness either; her eyes widened and her jaw hit the floor. She tugged on Ewan's shirt and hissed into his ear,  
  
"Oh my god! He's gorgeous!" Ewan looked at her and let out a menacing guffaw. Nicole glared at him.  
  
"What? Don't YOU think he's beautiful?"  
  
"Nicole, Why would I?"  
  
"Because he is, and usually when you see someone who is beautiful you know it.."  
  
"Well, I don't usually notice guys that are beautiful."  
  
"Wait, aren't you gay?" Nicole asked seriously. Ewan stared at her.  
  
"You've GOT to be KIDDING! OF COURSE I'M NOT GAY!" He shouted, making her jump. She gasped and clasped a hand to her mouth. Her eyes widened to the size of pomegranates.  
  
"You're NOT?!"  
  
"NO!!!"  
  
Nicole but her lip and shrugged sheepishly at him. She then focused her attention to the hunk of flaming goblin king be forth her who was now accompanied by Hoggle.  
  
"Hi! I'm Nicole Kidman! It's a pleasure to meet you!" She walked up to him and shook his gloved hand.  
  
"Charmed. I am Jareth, KING of the goblins. And this is.." He motioned at Ewan.  
  
"Ewan McGregor, my co-star." Nicole answered.  
  
"OO-Wen?" Jareth asked, wrinkling his nose. The name left a bad taste like battery acid in his mouth.  
  
"Yes, Ewan McGregor. He's very talented." She beamed at Ewan, who rolled his eyes.  
  
"But his name is OO-Wen?"  
  
Nicole paused; making sure it wasn't a trick question. When she had assured herself that it wasn't, she answered,  
  
"Y-Yes, That's his name."  
  
"Really?" He raised an eyebrow. Nicole's knees weakened and Ewan has to hold out an arm to keep her from collapsing.  
  
"How do you spell it?" Jareth asked.  
  
"E. W. A. N." Ewan recited, feeling ashamed of the pride that swelled in him every time he did that.  
  
"OH!" Jareth cackled, "E-Wan! I get it! Welcome, E-Wan McGregor and Nicole Kidman!"  
  
"No, it's really OO-Wen! I-" Ewan started, but Jareth dismissed his comment with a wave of his hand and turned to Nicole. "I am told that there has been a problem?"  
  
"Yes, Um.... Hogwart is it?"  
  
"Hedge-Ward." Jareth corrected.  
  
"Helga!" Ewan insisted.  
  
"Hoggle!" Hoggle snapped.  
  
"Whatever." Nicole said dismissively, rolling her eyes. "He killed the green fairy."  
  
Jareth held his chin and crinkled his eyes, trying to understand.  
  
"Really?" He asked. Nicole nodded solemnly.  
  
"Great!" Nicole and Ewan stared.  
  
"What!?!" They cried.  
  
"It's his job, you know. He kills those bloomin' bastards! He keeps my garden neat and uninfested. And, I've heard of those green fairies! Rather large are they? Rather, vicious?"  
  
"Uh.." Ewan traied.  
  
"Sorry I couldn't have been there when you took down that beast, Hedge Hog." Jareth said, patting his dwarf/goblin companion on the back.  
  
"Hoggle."  
  
"What is? Oh don't change the subject! This green fairy....very proud that you did away with it. I heard they have very high voices that hurt the ears?"  
  
"Oh yes! Very high!" Ewan, Nicole and Hoggle replied.  
  
"Yes, that's horrible. Every one should have nice low voice like, well like ME! Or like Men in general, right E-WAN? Anyone with a high voice should be exterminated, dumped into the bog of eternal stench! Except for Freddie Mercury because he's a brilliant man."  
  
"Isn't he dead?" Asked Ewan.  
  
"Shut up. That's not the point."  
  
Nicole gasped. SHE had a high voice! She thought about 'Hindi Sad Diamonds' and cringed. Jareth would hate her forever if he found out! Jareth turned to Ewan.  
  
"You sing like a proper man, right?" he asked, jovially patting him on the back. Ewan beamed.  
  
"Of course I do!" He said proudly.  
  
"Let's here it then!" Jareth stepped a side and looked at him. Ewan took a few breaths and put himself in his singing position. Nicole watched with mock interest.  
  
"We can be heroes, forever and ever, we can be heroes forever and ever! We can be heroes just because I........will always love you, I.........can't help loving, you.." Ewan belted. When he finished he waited for Jareth's reaction. Jareth blinked and turned to Nicole.  
  
"Do you sing with him?"  
  
She cleared her throat, "Indeed I do."  
  
"You lucky BITCH!!! E-WAN!!! You're AMAZING!!" Ewan smiled broadly and bobbed modestly. Nicole sulked.  
  
"Oh, but Nicole Sings too." Ewan quipped. The color drained from her face.  
  
"Oh, Ewan that's really not necessary!"  
  
"Nonsense! I sang, now YOU sing! Sing.....Hindi Sad Diamonds!"  
  
"NO!!!!!!" Nicole screamed. The guys jumped. "Sorry, I'm not really fond of that song, I'll sing..." She pondered, what song was lowest? "Oh I know!" She got into her singing position and smiled brightly, tossing her hair at Jareth.  
  
"The French are glad to die, for love. They delight in fighting duels. But I prefer a man who lives and had expensive, Jewels." She sang, careful with how high her voice went. The room burst into applause when she finished. She took a dainty curtsy and motioned to Jareth.  
  
"You sing now." She said. He smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile. It was more of a smirk.  
  
*So...how was it happy fanfic reading people? -Sorry Ewan and David, I love you!! Coming Next-Jareth gets his groove on, Hoggle gets kicked out a window looses his shoe, and we discover a horrible secret about Nicole. 


	4. Chapter Four

WoOops.  
  
Chapter 4  
  
A/N-Hey again, A.P here---duh, who else were you expecting right? ANYWAY, I hope you all are doing well, and eating lots of soup, that is, if you LIKE soup, I mean, if you don't like soup you don't HAVE to eat lots of it, I would never force you to eat something you don't like. okay, never mind, lets go on to the next chapter!  
  
Speaking of which, there was a VERY important mistake in the last paragraph I had written:  
  
*So...how was it happy fanfic reading people? -Sorry Ewan and David, I love you!! Coming Next-Jareth gets his groove on, Hoggle gets kicked out a window looses his shoe, and we discover a horrible secret about Nicole.  
  
But that's a lie, Hoggle does not loose his shoe, Ewan does. I forgot to put his name there, and I am very sorry.  
  
SO, ONTO THE CHAPTER! Yay!!  
  
They all stared at Jareth because it had been a long time since he started his smirk, and he still hadn't moved yet.  
  
"Um, Jareth?" Nicole asked. Jareth jumped.  
  
"What? Who's talking?"  
  
"You said you were going to sing?" Nicole asked.  
  
"Oh! Sing, right! Um.." he looked around, "I will, but this is NOT the right setting at all." He winked at her and snapped his fingers. Suddenly Nicole, was standing at the top of a stone stair case, she looked over the edge and stared. She was standing in an exact replica of that crazy Escher painting with all the stairs. Ewan was standing across the room, only he was upside down going up a different stair case.  
  
"EWAN!" She called. He looked up, er.. down.  
  
"Nicole!" He called back.  
  
"Where are we? Where's Jareth?" She asked. He shrugged. She sighed impatiently and looked around. Suddenly scary music started to play making Nicole's heart drop to the pit of her stomach. She whirled around just in time to come nose to nose with Jareth.  
  
"Eeep!" She shrieked and jumped back. Jareth chuckled sardonically. She bit her lip nervously and played him a small smile. He moved in closer and began to sing:  
  
"How you turn my world you precious thing." He walked closer to her. She took a step back. "You're starving me, exhaust me." He passed right through her, her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. She glanced over at Ewan who was snoozing on the steps. "Everything I've done I've done for you!" He continued. He drew a crystal from his pocket, "I move the stars for no one." and threw it. It bounced a bit and then hit Ewan in the head. ((A/N: I'm SORRY EWAN!!)) He woke up with a start and looked around frightenedly. "You've run so long you've run so far." Ewan chased after the crystal. "You're eyes can be so cruel." Jared put his face close to Nicole's. She winced, his gaze was chilling. "Just as I can be so cruel!" He continued. He sneered again and walked to the edge of the stone plat from and stepped off. She screamed and ran over to the edge, to see if he survived the drop. He wasn't anywhere in sight, but a further lean over the edge showed that he was standing under the platform instead. "Oh I do believe in you." Jareth continued his freaky song, singing in his wonderful, David-Bowie-ness. He ran down the platform to another staircase. "Yes I do." Ewan continued to chase the crystal and bumped into Jareth as he raced down the stairs. "Live with out the sunlight." Jareth sang, watching in confusion as Ewan hounded the small glass sphere. "Love with out your heartbeat." He looked at Nicole again. She gave him a nervous smile. "I, I, I can't live within you." He finished, just as Ewan skidded off the platform and plummeted down, down  
  
down  
  
down  
  
down  
  
down  
  
down  
  
until finally..  
  
Ewan landed with a small thud onto the stone floor of the lobby they had started. He looked up groggily and saw Jareth looming over him, smirking.  
  
"Well?" Jareth asked.  
  
Ewan rolled over and stood up. "You were WONDERFUL!" He cried, shaking Jareth's hand. Jareth laughed, and rubbed something out of his eye with his fingertip, "Oh please, I couldn't of been that good!" He said modestly.  
  
"Oh but you were! Wasn't he, Nicole?" Ewan said to Nicole, who was staring in terror at the Goblin King.  
  
"Y-yeah." She squeaked. Jareth pouted sympathetically.  
  
"Aw, did I scare you Nicole?" He asked. She nodded. "I didn't mean to. It's just for effect! I don't always sing songs like that." He lifted her chin in his hand. She looked at him fearfully. "You don't believe me?" She shook her head. He smiled. "Well, we'll just have to change that. He walked a few steps away and they turned to them.  
  
"But down in the underground, You'll find someone true Down in the underground, A land serene, A crystal moon, ah, ah." He sang, doing a little dance. Nicole raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Well, I believe you now, and as much as I love your voice, and think you're a very talented person, I think we should get back onto the task at hand."  
  
"Oh yes! The task at hand! I very much agree!" Jareth said genially.  
  
"Me too!" Piped Ewan.  
  
"Which is what?" Jareth asked, looking confused.  
  
"The green fairy! She's gone! Hoggle killed her! You make it seem like it's a good thing but it's not!! I mean, she's Kylie Minogue. She's an actress in our movie!"  
  
Jareth stared, "WHAT?!" He cried, his eyes flashing. "He killed on of your actors!!?"  
  
"Yeah..." Nicole trailed.  
  
"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!! I can get in BIG trouble for this! HEDWIG!! HENRY!! HORUS!!! HENGLE!! GOOGLE!! HOOGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Hoggle peeked out from behind a giant pot.  
  
"Yes, you're highness?" He asked meekly.  
  
"You killed an actress!"  
  
"I-I-I" Hoggle stammered.  
  
"You, you, you what? You're sorry?" Jareth snapped. Hoggle nodded. "Well, Sorry isn't going to cut it this time! You will be punished! You will spend eternity in the bog of eternal stench!!" He screamed. Hoggle cowered under his wrath, but Jareth didn't cease. He took a step forward and launched a kick that sent Hoggle out the pane-less window and over the Labyrinth. Hoggle screamed as he sailed through the air, and all Ewan and Nicole could do was watch in horror.  
  
"Now, I will come with you to wherever you came from and go sort this out."  
  
"You're coming to Australia?" Nicole and Ewan asked nervously.  
  
"Yes, of course, what did you think? I handle all my conflicts personally. Let's go!" Jareth said, grinning at the pair. They looked at each other worriedly and wondered if Jareth coming to Australia would be the best thing for him, and the world.  
  
  
  
SOOO, what do you think? Yes? No? Maybe So? 99? 100? Okay, whatever, just review!! ^^ And if you have any suggestions I am open to them! -AP-  
  
//dances around to her labyrinth soundtrack\\ 


	5. Chapter Five

QUICK NOTE BEFORE YOU START READING: Craig Pearce is the man who wrote 'Moulin Rouge' with Baz. He appears in this chapter and possibly a few more after this. So yeah, he's a real person, just for you to know, so you didn't think that I just threw in some random guy.  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Ewan, Nicole, and Jareth walked through the portal and emerged in front of the studio in Australia where 'Moulin Rouge' was being filmed.  
  
"Well, this is it! Pretty impressive, isn't it?" Nicole said proudly. Jareth yawned.  
  
"I suppose." He said stroking his chin with a gloved hand.  
  
"Well, what's say we go in side, eh?" Ewan suggested, opening the door for both of them. When they got inside, Jareth was greeted by looming sets, flashing lights and a vast amount of electrical equipment.  
  
"What is this?!" He asked in awe.  
  
"Our studio. We make movies here."  
  
"It's so BIG!" Jareth said, looking around.  
  
"Yes, it is. It's SO big in fact, that my first day here, I go lost." Nicole said seriously.  
  
"Yeah, in a closet!" Ewan grinned teasingly.  
  
"Did NOT! It was a storeroom. It was HUGE!"  
  
"It was a closet. A small closet."  
  
"Was not!"  
  
"Was too."  
  
"Was NOT!"  
  
"Was too."  
  
"Was not!"  
  
"Was too!"  
  
"Was NOT!"  
  
"Was TOO!"  
  
"Was NOT!"  
  
"Was T-"  
  
"BE QUIET!" Cried a voice. The three ((Jareth included)) looked to their left, realized that they had looked the wrong way and looked to their right, where their director, Baz Luhrmann was standing.  
  
"Where have you two BEEN? We've been looking for you for HOURS! Nicole, did you get lost in that closet again?"  
  
Nicole opened her mouth in protest, but couldn't think of anything. She snapped it closed again, and fumed. Ewan snorted.  
  
"What's wrong with you? Need a tissue?" She snapped angrily.  
  
"Oh nothing, it's just that-"  
  
"What."  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Fine, I take it you WERE'NT in the closet, where were you?"  
  
"We're terribly sorry, Baz, but we DID find out what happened to the green Fairy." Nicole explained. Baz's face brightened.  
  
"You did? Superb! Positively, EXCELLENT! So, where is she? What happened to her?"  
  
"Uh...well, Ewan? Would you like to explain to Baz why the green fairy is missing?"  
  
"No imparticular-OW!" Nicoel had stomped on his foot, with out taking her smiley face from Baz.  
  
"FINE! Baz, she was killed."  
  
"What?! KILLED?!" Baz squeeked. Nicole and Ewan nodded wincingly. Baz looked at them and fainted.  
  
"Not a very strong leader is he?" Jareth said, as Ewan and Nicole rushed to his side.  
  
"Shut up." Ewan snapped.  
  
"No, I'm seriously. A king shouldn't FAINT! I've never fainted in my life." Jareth boasted, flexing, although it was for no one since Nicole and Ewan were still focused on Baz.  
  
"Baz! Baz, wake up! Oh, Gosh! Can we get some help here?!" Nicole cried to a passing light attendant, who scampered off to get it.  
  
"Oh! Ewan this is bad. Imagine how he's going to react when we tell him she was killed by a goblin/dwarf by bug spray!"  
  
"Fairy Spray..." Ewan corrected.  
  
"You're an idiot." Said Nicole dismissively.  
  
"We're here!" cried Craig Pearce, running up with a random doctor, "What happened?"  
  
"He fainted!" Nicole cried hysterically, throwing herself onto Baz's chest and sobbing into his shirt, pummeling him with her fists. "HE'S GOING TO DIE ISNT HE?!" She continued to wail uncontrollably.  
  
"Uh, no." The doctor said, looking at Nicole in a disgusted way.  
  
"DON'T LIE TO ME! I CAN TAKE IT!" She sobbed, and started to roll in a furry blanket that was just lying on the ground. Ewan, Craig, Doctor, and Jareth all took one step away from her.  
  
"He just fainted, woman. He'll be okay." Craig said, inching over to her, and sitting her up.  
  
"Really?" She asked, rubbing her eyes. "Yeup! Why don't you, Ewan and your friend who I don't know, but looks amazingly like David Bowie in makeup, go and get some hot apple cider at the refreshment table?"  
  
"Yes, I think I shall!" Nicole said cherrily jumping up and linking arms with Ewan and Jareth. She beamed at the doctor and skipped away, dragging a pair of reluctant guys behind her.  
  
The doctor rolled his eyes and went to attending poor Baz.  
  
  
  
Anne-Yes, I do realize Ewan still has both his shoes, but he will be loosing them before this story is over. More madness to come!! As usual, I don't own Moulin Rouge or Labyrinth or anyone, But I do own that doctor, he IS mine! You may not think he's that special, but just WAIT!! Yes, and I'm muchly sorry about what happened to Baz.  
  
R&R!! 


	6. Chapter Six

WOoOops.  
  
-Chapter 6-  
  
Nicole sat in her special chair that had her name on it, sipping her hot cider, while Ewan and Jareth fought over the 'McGregor' chair.  
  
"It's MINE!" Ewan screamed, trying to smoosh his butt in before the Goblin- King could.  
  
"But, I'm the GEUST!!" Jareth growled, pushed Ewan out of the chair.  
  
"So? Then get a GEUST chair!! They're over there!" Ewan ordered, pointing across the studio.  
  
"You go get it, I'll get lost in a closet!"  
  
"FINE!" Ewan said, giving a heavy sigh. Jareth grinned victoriously at him, as he trudged across the studio and retrieved a chair for him. When he returned, Jareth yawned lazily.  
  
"It's about time. Whatever took you so long, E-Wan?" Ewan raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Well?" Jareth said, expectantly.  
  
"Tampons." Ewan grumbled.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Tampons."  
  
Nicole looked up.  
  
"Did you just say, Tampons?"  
  
"Yes, yes I did." Ewan said, pushed Jareth out of his chair and sitting in it.  
  
"Why?" Jareth asked, sitting in the chair Ewan had gotten for him.  
  
"I dunno, Just felt like it I guess."  
  
"No, you don' t just say Tampons for no reason. Do you need one, Ewan?" Nicole asked, concerned.  
  
"NO! I don't need one! I'm a guy, stupid!"  
  
"So?"  
  
Ewan rolled his eyes. "Think about it, Nicole."  
  
Nicole closed one eye and thought. And thought. And thought. And thought.  
  
"Have no Idea, Ewan." Nicole said, after about 20 minutes of thinking. "Guys don't get periods! They don't have uteruses!"  
  
"AHH! Girlie words!!" Jareth shrieked, falling down and rolling on the ground in spasms.  
  
"Oh yeah! I forgot! Hahahaha! Silly me!" Nicole said, hitting her head and going back to her cider. Jareth continued to spasm.  
  
"Uh, Jareth, it's over." Ewan said, looking at the G.K rolling on the floor.  
  
"Ahh! Girlie words! Echoing in my head!!" He screamed, still rolling.  
  
"Um, say some masculine word, to make him feel better!!" Nicole suggested.  
  
Ewan thought for a moment.  
  
"Foot ball!" Jareth started gurgling.  
  
"Hurry you fool! He's going to DIE!" Nicole panicked, throwing her cider over her shoulder, and hitting some random guy in the head, sending scalding hot liquid all over his face. He clasped his hands to his face and yelled in agony. Nicole, was paying no attention however, and had leapt over to Ewan and was shaking him. "YOU IDIOT!" She yelled. "HURRY UP! A GOBLIN KING'S LIFE IS AT STAKE!!"  
  
"Um, I don't know!! Home Depot!!?"  
  
Jareth continued to spasm.  
  
"SPANDEX!!" Nicole sang out, in the tune of 'my gift is my song.'  
  
Jareth stopped and looked at her.  
  
"You did it! You saved Jareth!" Ewan cried.  
  
"I did!" Nicole screamed happily, jumping up and down. Ewan bent down and helped him up.  
  
"Are you okay? I'm really sorry about that." Ewan said repentantly.  
  
"I'm fine, just don't do that to me again, okay?" Jareth said, taking his seat again  
  
"I wonder how Baz is doing?" Ewan said, in a very Scottish way.  
  
"Let's go see him, and introduce him to Jareth." Nicole suggested.  
  
"Good Idea. Come along, Jareth." Ewan said, and they all walked to the hospital kinda part was. Baz was sitting in a chair with a cool compress on his head. "Baz, are you okay?" Nicole asked, biting her lip. Baz glared at her.  
  
"I'm fine, they're making me put this thing on my head, but what REALLY is bothering me is my CHEST! They said you were punching me?! Nicole..."  
  
"Uhm, I-well, I was being a little dramatic and I-"  
  
Ewan interrupted. "Never mind, we have to focus on the task at hand!"  
  
"Right!" Nicole said, gracious that Ewan had gotten her out of that awkward situation.  
  
"I completely agree!" Jareth said grinning, "Again, what is that?"  
  
"The green fairy." Whispered Nicole.  
  
"Ahh! Right! Now I remember."  
  
"Anyway, Baz, this is Jareth, the Goblin King. His subject, Henward-"  
  
"Hippogriffo." Nicole corrected.  
  
"No, it's definitely Hogbrain." Jareth said certainly.  
  
"Whatever, his subject's job is to kill the fairies around his garden, and he didn't realize that the Green Fairy was special, so he killed her, just like he was supposed to. So, that's what happened." Ewan rushed. Baz stared at him, then at Jareth.  
  
"You killed my green fairy?!" He yelled, leapt from his chair, and grabbed Jareth's neck, knocking him over. They both crashed to the floor, Baz strangling Jareth with all his might.  
  
"NO! STOP! Not him, Baz! BAZ!" Nicole said, flapping her hands in distress.  
  
"BAZ!" Ewan yelled, pulling him off Jareth.  
  
"Let me at 'im!" Baz cried, trying to break from Ewan's grasp. Jareth got ready to send a jolt of magic towards him, but Ewan glared at him.  
  
"You too! Hold on! It wasn't him, it was his subject, Hoggle. HEY! I got it right! Haha! Oh! Right! Anyway, it wasn't him! It was someone else."  
  
"Well! Why didn't you bring this 'someone else' here instead of this transie!" He said venomously.  
  
"Hey! I resent that!" Snapped Jareth.  
  
"Well, Hoggle's rather, busy now?" Ewan tried.  
  
"SO?! He committed a hideous deed!! That wasn't just a fairy, that was Kylie Minogue!"  
  
Nicole let out a small gasp.  
  
"Who?" Ewan and Jareth asked at the same time.  
  
"Kylie Minogue! The oh-so-talented Australian singer!!"  
  
"Ohh..." Ewan said nodding. Then I dawned on him, making him double take. "What!?! She's a PERSON?!"  
  
"I'm afraid so." Baz said sorrily.  
  
"C'mon! We've got to go get Hoggle!" Ewan cried.  
  
"Why? What can he do?" Jareth asked, "He's in the bog of eternal stench now."  
  
"So? We'll just have to get him out!" Nicole chimed.  
  
"Yes, there's no question. Come on Baz, we're going."  
  
"Fine. Let's go." Jareth said reluctantly, leading them all out of the studio.  
  
---Back in The Underground----  
  
"Home sweet home!" Jareth crooned, as they strolled down the side of the Labyrinth walls, Baz completely dumbstruck that he was there.  
  
"This is AMAZING! I should make a movie about this!"  
  
"It's already been done, slick." Jareth replied, waving his hand in the air, making a portal to the Bog. They all stepped through and were immediately met with the putrid aroma that gave the Bog it's name.  
  
"AGH! What the hell IS that?" Choked Nicole, plugging her nose.  
  
"That's the bog of eternal stench. If you get any on you, you will smell like that for the rest of all eternity." Jareth explained.  
  
"Why would you make such a thing?!" Ewan gagged, covering his mouth and nose with a handkerchief.  
  
"To punish those who dare disobey, like our friend Hoggle there." Jareth said pointed to a pair of legs waggling out from the middle of it.  
  
"Ohmigod! Is that HIM?!" Nicole cried.  
  
"Indeed it is. Hoggle, come!" Jareth said, casting a spell. Hoggle flew out of the swamp with a big sucking sound, and rose up into the sky. He came smashing into the ground, almost hitting the group of mortals.  
  
"And this is Hoggle, the one who killed, Kylie." Ewan said, waving towards Hoggle with his free hand.  
  
"YOU!" Baz growled. Hoggle stared at him in fear. "YOU'LL SHALL PAY FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!" He advanced toward the knobby dwarf, but a Tarzan yell from out of nowhere made him pause.  
  
"RAAAAAAA!!!" The voice roared. It was then followed by a girl with long auburn hair swinging on a vine. She let out another Tarzan yell before crashing into Baz.  
  
"SARAH!" Jareth cried with glee.  
  
"WHO?!" Ewan and Nicole asked in unison.  
  
--Told you there'd be more madness!! Bwahahahahahaha!! Stay tuned for the next chapter of WOoOops...where Sarah meets her favorite movie-star ((Ewan)), Nicole gets insanely jealous, Hoggle takes a bath in the pools of eternal freshness, and Baz does his own rendition of 'Magic Dance'  
  
-A.P- 


	7. Chapter Seven

As always, I don't own Labyrinth or Moulin Rouge, sorry :-)  
  
*A/N-Well, last chapter a lot of stuff happened, I think we should recap, what about you?  
  
Readers: No way, you whore! Just get on with the story!  
  
*//blissly oblivious\\ good, children! Last chapter...  
  
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~  
  
"Have no Idea, Ewan." Nicole said, after about 20 minutes of thinking.  
  
"Guys don't get periods! They don't have uteruses!"  
  
"AHH! Girlie words!!" Jareth shrieked, falling down and rolling on the ground in spasms.  
  
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~  
  
"SPANDEX!!" Nicole sang out, in the tune of 'my gift is my song.'  
  
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~  
  
"SO?! He committed a hideous deed!! That wasn't just a fairy, that was Kylie Minogue!"  
  
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~~-~  
  
"YOU!" Baz growled. Hoggle stared at him in fear. "YOU'LL SHALL PAY FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!" He advanced toward the knobby dwarf, but a Tarzan yell from out of nowhere made him pause.  
  
"RAAAAAAA!!!" The voice roared. It was then followed by a girl with long auburn hair swinging on a vine. She let out another Tarzan yell before crashing into Baz.  
  
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~~-~-~  
  
*Some exciting stuff huh?  
  
Readers-//snoring\\  
  
*//still blissfully oblivious\\ Anyway! Onto the story!  
  
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~~-~-~  
  
-Chapter 6-  
  
Nicole and Ewan stared in astonishment at the brunette that had appeared out of virtually nowhere and crashing into Baz whilst swinging on a vine.  
  
"Ohh! Geroff me!" Baz groaned. Sarah, who had made herself quite comfortable on his stomach raised an eyebrow.  
  
"How do I know you won't try to hurt my friend again?" She asked.  
  
"You don't. And I will!" Baz said.  
  
"Why?! What has he ever done to you?"  
  
"Killed the green fairy from Moulin Rouge."  
  
Sarah gasped.  
  
"The green fairy!?! Oh my god!! You're Baz Luhrmann! The director of Moulin Rouge!!" She jumped off him and shook his hand. "It's a pleasure meeting you sir!" She squealed happily. Baz through a pleading look at Ewan and Nicole, who just stepped back and grinned. Sarah noticed his gaze and turned to look at them.  
  
"Oh. My. God." She said, her eyes widening to the size of moons. "You're Nicole Kidman! And you!" She said, staring in awe at Ewan.  
  
"Are Ewan McGregor!" She swooned. Ewan smiled broadly.  
  
"Yeup. And you are?  
  
"Sarah Williams."  
  
"And how do you fit into this whole Labyrinth deal?" Ewan asked.  
  
"Well, years ago, I wished my baby brother away here, and had to defeat Jareth to get him back. And Jareth was in love with me." She explained, with the air of telling about her day at the carnival.  
  
"Oh. How lovely." Ewan lied.  
  
"Ooooo! It's such an HONOR meeting you! I've seen almost ALL your movies! You-you-you're my favorite movie star EVER!! Can I have your autograph?!" She giggled.  
  
"Sure! Do you have something to write on/with?"  
  
"Um, no, but I'm sure Jareth does in his castle. Let's go. And Baz too! Jareth, you and Nicole take Hoggle to the pools of Eternal Freshness, and get him cleaned up. It's the only way to reverse the BOES effect." Sarah directed, leading Ewan and Baz down a path. Nicole watched them go down the path before exploding flames from her head and snarling angrily.  
  
"OoH! Nicole, are you alright?" Jareth asked, putting on the closest thing he had to a concerned look.  
  
"She, she, she! She stole my EWAN!!!!" She screeched, turning to Jareth in a hunched position. She made her hands into claws and looked evilly over her shoulder.  
  
"Uh." Jareth coughed. "Nicole, I think we better get Hoggle to the springs, let's go." He grabbe0d her shoulder and dragged her and Hoggle away in the opposite direction.  
  
-----At Jareth's Castle-----  
  
Ewan scribbled his autograph on a piece of parchment for Sarah, who was so excited she looked as if she were going to wet herself. She didn't however, but squirmed around a lot, on the verge of squealing again.  
  
"Here you go." Ewan said, handing the paper to Sarah. She smiled broadly, flashing her brilliant smile at him, and immediately enamored the dashing Scott.  
  
screeching sound of a car  
  
Readers: Waiiiiiiiiiit a minute, Ewan's like 31 years old, and Sarah is just a little girl! She's only 14! You ruined my perfect image of Ewan! You turned him into a, a, a //eyes wide\\ pedophile!!  
  
*No! No wait! I didn't mean that, uhhh, actually she's like 20 now, cuz Labyrinth was made in the 80's and that was OVER 20 years ago, but I changed it anyway-cuz this was a couple years ago, OH NEVER MIND!! Ewan is NOT a pedophile, and Sarah isn't too young for him!! ANYWAY, it's the Labyrinth, anything can happen there. Hmph!  
  
((carries on))  
  
  
  
Whilst Ewan and Sarah were chatting away, Baz was exploring all around the castle, until he wandered into Jareth's throne room. About 40 goblins lounged in various places around the room, and a few chickens too.  
  
"Uh, hello?" Baz said uncertainly to the small beasts. They stopped chattering for a moment to look at him and went back to talking.  
  
"Well, that's just rude! You don't even say hello BACK? I'm from Australia, you know! I bet you don't even know where that is!"  
  
They continued to talk. Suddenly, out of the complete blue, Baz had the sudden desire to break into song. ((Must have been all those long hours on the Moulin Rouge set...))  
  
I really need a drink.  
  
What drink?  
  
The drink with the power!  
  
What power?  
  
The power of FAIRIES!  
  
Green ones?  
  
Real ones!  
  
Real what?  
  
I really need a drink.  
  
I drank that absinth, underneath that singing moon. ((It was in June.))  
  
The green intoxicant, was ever oh so smooth ((it was so smooth))  
  
I'd never ever drink a beer.  
  
Sam Adams, Bud Light, it's crystal clear.  
  
They can't compare, to- wait a minute.What's it called?  
  
Absinth absinth! ((Absinth Absinth)) Absinth Absinth! ((Absinth Absinth))  
  
Get that fairy over here  
  
Drunk get so drunk, ((Drunk get so drunk!)) Drunk get so drunk ((Drunk get so drunk!))  
  
Good green fairy shine on me  
  
Take my senses, set them free!  
  
I drank that absinth, underneath that singing moon. ((It was in June.))  
  
The green intoxicant, was ever oh so smooth ((it was so smooth))  
  
I'd never ever drink a beer.  
  
Sam Adams, Bud Light, it's crystal clear.  
  
They can't compare, to- wait a minute.What's it called?  
  
Absinth absinth! ((Absinth Absinth)) Absinth Absinth! ((Absinth Absinth))  
  
Get that fairy over here  
  
Drunk get so drunk, ((Drunk get so drunk!)) Drunk get so drunk ((Drunk get so drunk!))  
  
Good green fairy shine on me  
  
Take my senses, set them free!  
  
Absinth absinth! ((Absinth Absinth)) Absinth Absinth! ((Absinth Absinth))  
  
Absinth absinth! ((Absinth Absinth)) Absinth Absinth! ((Absinth Absinth))  
  
Drunk get so drunk, ((Drunk get so drunk!)) Drunk get so drunk ((Drunk get so drunk!))  
  
I really need a drink.  
  
What drink?  
  
The drink with the power!  
  
What power?  
  
The power of FAIRIES!  
  
Green ones?  
  
Real ones!  
  
Real what?  
  
I really need a drink.  
  
Drunk get so drunk, ooh ooh ooh  
  
Absinth absinth, absinth absinth, ooh ohh ohh  
  
I would never ever drink a beer  
  
Sam Adams, Bud Light, it's crystal clear.  
  
Thuder and Lightning ((its so frightening))  
  
Absinth absinth, absinth absinth  
  
Get that fairy over here  
  
Drunk get so drunk, drunk get so drunk  
  
Good green fairy shine on me  
  
Take my senses set them free  
  
Absinth absinth! ((Absinth Absinth)) Absinth Absinth! ((Absinth Absinth))  
  
Get that fairy over here  
  
Drunk get so drunk, ((Drunk get so drunk!)) Drunk get so drunk ((Drunk get so drunk!))  
  
Good green fairy shine on me  
  
Take my senses set them free  
  
//musical interlude\\  
  
Absinth absinth! ((Absinth Absinth)) Absinth Absinth! ((Absinth Absinth))  
  
Get-Get that fairy over here  
  
Absinth absinth! ((Absinth Absinth)) Absinth Absinth! ((Absinth Absinth))  
  
Drunk get so drunk, ((Drunk get so drunk!)) Drunk get so drunk ((Drunk get so drunk!))  
  
And as their voices faded out, they all broke out bottles of Absinth and chugged.  
  
---In the Pools of Eternal Freshness---  
  
Hoggle sat in one of the warm pools of eternal freshness, soaking up the sun, holding a coconut drink with a little umbrella in it. In the next pool over, Nicole and Jareth sat holding their own festive drinks. Jareth was completely thrilled about the little sword that held his little pieces of fruit together, but Nicole was having a horrible time.  
  
"Just gushing mindlessly over him, I mean come ON! Have some DIGNITY!!" She tossed her hair.  
  
"What are you babbling about, woman?" Jareth asked angry that she had distracted him from his tiny gladitorius.  
  
"I'm talking about that Sarah chick! What's so special about her?!"  
  
"Well, she's beautiful and smart and funny and brave and loyal and-"  
  
"Okay okay I get it!" Nicole snapped.  
  
"But what makes her so much better than ME?" She beamed at Jareth.  
  
"Uh." Jareth stuttered. He stared at Nicole who was still smiling fakely. He pulled out the little sword from his drink and pointed it at her.  
  
"On guard!" He said, weakly. Nicole crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Heh-heh, how's it going HogFace?" Jareth called to Hoggle.  
  
"Jolly good." Hoggle smiled.  
  
*That's it, remember, a review a day, keeps bloodthirsty, comb-stealing bandits away!!  
  
-A.P- 


	8. Chapter Eight

WOoOops  
  
*Hey every one! I'm at school right now, and I think there's a delay and nobody told me!! There's no one here except my friend Abby and her friend Inez. Ahhh! This is insane, its not even SNOWING!! The roads aren't icy either!! This is really weird, but anyway, onto the story!  
  
Chapter 8  
  
After Hoggle was finished bathing in the pools of eternal freshness , the three walked back to the castle so that Baz could make another attempt at a clam, civil discussion with him.  
  
They walked into the room where Ewan and Sarah were talking and laughing, but where was Baz?  
  
"Where's Baz?" Asked Nicole. The two looked around.  
  
"D'unno. Maybe he went off exploring or something?" Sarah suggested. Jareth and Hoggle nodded and dashed off into another room.  
  
"So..." Nicole said, walking over and squishing herself between Ewan and Sarah, "What's up?"  
  
"Not much, Sarah was just telling me about how Jareth kidnapped her brother, but they're friends now."  
  
"What?! Why! That's insane!!" Nicole asked.  
  
"Well, it was really MY fault! I wished Tobey away, but Jareth's a really nice, charming person!" Sarah said, flashing a broad smile at Nicole, who flashed a bigger one. This fazed Sarah but only for a second, then she beamed again, brighter than Nicole. Ewan, who was stuck behind Nicole, walked over and stood in front of them so he good get a better view.  
  
"That's a very optimistic view on things." Nicole said, through a shiny smile.  
  
"Thanks." Sarah beamed.  
  
"Your teeth are so white, and straight! What tooth paste to you use?" Nicole asked, through her clenched teeth.  
  
"Crest. You?"  
  
"Rembrandt." And they continued their smile-war. Ewan smiled happily, he was having the time of his life watching them. Suddenly they both stood up and grinned, growling at each other. They both tore off in opposite directions to grab the weapons off the wall.  
  
"This is so hott!" muttered Ewan, to no on in particular.  
  
-In The Throne Room-  
  
Jareth and Hoggle found Baz and the goblins throwing back bottles after bottles of absinth. Garden fairies fluttered overhead, singing off key and giggling.  
  
"BAZ!!" Jareth cried, "What in bloody hell do you think you're doing!?!"  
  
Baz looked happily at the fuming goblin king, and laughed.  
  
"What does it LOOK like I'm doing?" He hiccupped, "I'm having a few drinks with these fine fellows." He indicated to the goblins.  
  
"Ziggy ziggy, OY OY! Ziggy ziggy OY OY!!: They chanted before downing more bottles.  
  
"AHH!! NO! Baz, you must stop!! You'll get drunk!"  
  
"Aw, don't be a wet blankie, Jared."  
  
"Jareth."  
  
"Whatever. You and your little companion should have a drink or 7 with us!" Baz said, patting the spot next to him. Jareth and Hoggle looked at each other.  
  
Mean while, Sarah and Nicole were having a huge fight, Nicole with a battle axe with a head on each end, and Sarah with abroad sword.  
  
"Aee!" Nicole screamed, running at Sarah, twirling her axe violently. With a grunt Sarah jumped high above her, matrix style, and froze there for a second. As she came back down, she jammed the sword at Nicole, who rolled away just in time to avoid being squerd. Sarah's sword dug deep into the floor, and she struggled to pull it out.  
  
"Crap!" Sarah groaned, as Nicole raced towards her, axe in hand.  
  
"OH NO!" Gasp Ewan, his knuckles white from gripping the arms of the chair he had pulled up. Nicole grinned wolfishly as she took a fatal swing at Sarah. It wasn't however, because Sarah yanked her sword out just in time and blocked the blow. Ewan sighed with relief. Sarah stared deep into Nicole's eyes and pushed with all her might, sending her flying across the room, and sliding across the floor. She then dropped her sword and pulled out her magic wand from her pocket and pointed it at her opponent.  
  
"AVADA KEDA-"  
  
"WAIT! STOP!" Ewan shouted, running into Sarah and knocking her down. "Don't kill her!! Baz needs her for the movie!!" He said, helping her up. Sarah grinned sheepishly.  
  
"Sorry." She mumbled in mock embarrassment. Ewan put his arm around her shoulders and they walked to the table.  
  
"Good fight though." He pointed out. "You really kicked some Kidman ass!"  
  
Nicole, who had been curled up in a ball, peeked out and growled at Sarah, her eyes blazing.  
  
"I wonder where Jareth is, he left to look for Baz a while ago." Sarah got up, walked out the door. Ewan followed, as did Nicole. When they found them, Jareth and Hoggle were as hammered as Baz was.  
  
"You GUYS!!" Sarah complained. But they were to drunk to answer.  
  
"I guess we'll just have to wait until they sober up." Sarah said, shrugging. The two nodded in agreement.  
  
*Okay, that's that! Be sure to be on the look out for chapter 9, and now a quick glimpse of the madness yet to come:  
  
Sarah, Nicole and Ewan consult the ever-mystical Ouiji board, Jareth, Baz and Hoggle sober up, they discover the only answer to their problem is to go to Egypt, and finally Ewan looses one of his shoes. ((and of course much much more))  
  
-A.P- 


	9. Chapter Nine

WOoOops  
  
By Anne Parkington  
  
So . . . where did we leave off? Oh yes!! Jareth, Baz and Hoggle are all 3 sheets to the wind, so Sarah, Ewan and Nicole are going to pass the time by consulting the mysterious Ouija board!! OOOOO!! Lights flicker, every one freaks, but then realizes it's just my muse, Rocky from RHPS messing with the light switch ANYWAY-yeah, so that's what's going to happen, so . . . enjoy!!  
  
-Chapter 9-  
  
Sarah dragged out a card table from the closet and set it up, draping a cloth over it. She dimmed the lights and they all pulled up chairs to gather around their gateway to the mystical world.  
  
"OH! Isn't this EXCITING!?!" Nicole squealed tugging on Ewan's arm.  
  
"Eh, I don't really believe in this kind of stuff . . ." Ewan said, peeling her off him.  
  
"SKEPTIC!" Sarah said accusingly. "If something horrible happens, I'm blaming it all on YOU!"  
  
"What?!" Ewan asked, surprised.  
  
"Like . . .if Nicole was possessed by a spirit . . . "  
  
"WHAT?!" Nicole squeaked.  
  
"Y'anno, like in the Exorcist! I'm blaming it on Ewan, because he made them angry by not believing in them." Sarah declared.  
  
"And who is this 'them' anyway?" Ewan leaned back in his chair and folded his arms.  
  
"The spirits of course."  
  
"Of course, how silly of me." Ewan rolled his eyes.  
  
"Shhhh! You're blocking the freedom!" Sarah snapped, indicating for Nicole to place her fingers on the eye.  
  
"Blocking the freedom." Ewan raised an eyebrow. "You really buy into this stuff don't you?"  
  
"Well, with a friend like Jareth it's hard not to believe in magic and stuff." Sarah shrugged and placed her fingers on the eye.  
  
"First we have to ask if they're there." Sarah said. Nicole nodded.  
  
"Right. Are you there?" Nicole asked.  
  
They watched with breathless anticipation as the eye moved slowly to the YES on the board.  
  
"Ohh! GOODIE!!" Nicole said, clapping her hands. "I want to ask a question!" She said putting her hands on the eye.  
  
"Shoot." Sarah said.  
  
"Who will I, Nicole Kidman, marry?" She nudged Ewan when she said this, who looked at her with a disgusted expression on his face."  
  
The eye began to move.  
  
N  
  
O  
  
"Maybe it's some foreign guy!" Nicole crooned.  
  
"SHH!" Sarah hissed.  
  
T  
  
And then it stopped.  
  
"Not?" Nicole asked. "What the hel-" but it started moving again.  
  
E  
  
W  
  
A  
  
N  
  
NOT EWAN.  
  
"HEY!!!" Nicole gasped in horror at the Ouija.  
  
"Ha ha!!" Ewan cried triumphantly. Sarah stifled a giggle.  
  
"This is NOT fair!" Nicole yelled, but then glanced at Ewan and Sarah.  
  
"Yeah, like, who'd want to marry stupid ol-Ewan McGregor anyway?" She said, changing her tone.  
  
//numerous hands from the readers go up.\\  
  
"SHUT UP! Sarah, you ask a question!" Nicole snapped.  
  
"Which one of us will have the messiest divorce?"  
  
"They placed their fingers on the piece and watched as it moved to every letter.  
  
N  
  
I  
  
C  
  
O  
  
L  
  
E  
  
"Now THAT'S not fair. My marriage won't mend messily."  
  
"Speaking of marriage, aren't you already married to Tom Cruise?*" Sarah asked.  
  
((*A/N: Remember, they got divorced AFTER Moulin Rouge came out, and this is during filming, and See, the Ouija sees all! It predicted Tom and Nicole's divorce!! ALL HAIL!!))  
  
"You ARE?!!" He exclaimed in disbelief.  
  
"Well, yes and no. well yes, mostly yes. . . okay, all the way yes. . . But. . . I . . . it doesn't mean I cant CHEAT on him!"  
  
"Errrr, that's nice Nicole. Why don't you ask another question?" Ewan asked, inching away.  
  
"Uhhh, will Moulin Rouge make Tons of cash?"  
  
Sarah, Nicole and Ewan watched as it traveled daintily to each letter.  
  
N  
  
O  
  
T  
  
There was a pause.  
  
I  
  
F  
  
Another pause  
  
Y  
  
O  
  
U  
  
The three held their breath.  
  
D  
  
O  
  
N  
  
T  
  
Yet another pause.  
  
R  
  
E  
  
P  
  
L  
  
A  
  
C  
  
E  
  
Pause.  
  
T  
  
H  
  
E  
  
They stared at it, still not daring to breath.  
  
G  
  
R  
  
E  
  
E  
  
N  
  
Nicole's face was starting to turn purple.  
  
F  
  
A  
  
I  
  
R  
  
Y  
  
She rolled on the floor, still holding her breath.  
  
Y  
  
O  
  
U  
  
Nicole grabbed Ewan's leg.  
  
I  
  
D  
  
I  
  
O  
  
T  
  
Not if you don't replace the green fairy, you idiot. FINISHED!! Nicole let out her breath and panted heavily.  
  
"We have to replace the green fairy!!" She said franticly.  
  
"We CAN'T replace her, though! We'll just have to get her back to life." Ewan replied.  
  
"How?"  
  
"Ask the Ouija." Ewan suggested.  
  
"I thought you didn't believe in this stuff." Sarah said, grinning.  
  
"Well. . . just ask!" Ewan said.  
  
"Okay. . . " Sarah placed her hands onto the eye and asked:  
  
"How do we bring the green fairy back to life?"  
  
T  
  
H  
  
E  
  
Pause  
  
B  
  
O  
  
O  
  
K  
  
Another pause  
  
O  
  
F  
  
Pause  
  
D  
  
E  
  
A  
  
D  
  
"OF COURSE!" Sarah shrieked, jumping up, knocking the Ouija board and it's piece across the room and scaring her company to death.  
  
"What!?!" Ewan asked surprised.  
  
"The book of the dead! It's in Egypt, and it will bring her back to death, we just need to find the green fairy's body, do you think it's still there?"  
  
"I bet, but. . . we can't go until Jareth, Baz and Hoggle sober up."  
  
"Right, well, we should get some sleep and go in the morning." Sarah suggested. They nodded and found their own spots on the ground.  
  
But the Ouija wasn't happy that it was thrown across the room. . .  
  
---The next Morning-----  
  
Baz walked into the room and looked upon the three sleeping on the floor. He groaned; his head hurt so much. He walked over to Ewan and lightly kicked him in the ribs.  
  
"God, Nicole, don't. . . "Ewan opened a bleary eye. "Oh, hello, Baz. Feeling better I suspect?"  
  
"Yes, quite. What are you doing?"  
  
"Trying to sleep." Ewan laughed. He stood up and walked over to Sarah, and shook her.  
  
"Sarah, wake up!"  
  
"Nicole!" Baz hollered into Nicole's ear. She rolled over in her sleep and snored at him.  
  
"NICOLE!!" Ewan screamed from across the room, making Sarah jump.  
  
"Jesus CHRIST, Ewan!" Sarah snapped angrily, standing up.  
  
"Sorry, Sarah." Ewan grimaced. Nicole fluttered her eyes open and stared into Baz's.  
  
"You don't look like Mickey Mouse." She moaned sleepily.  
  
"Oh! Good!" Baz put his hand on his heart. "I was beginning to get worried."  
  
"Wake up, Nicole, we have a big day ahead of us." Sarah said to the sleepy red head. She turned to Baz.  
  
"Where's Jareth?"  
  
"Taking a shower, he should be out any minute. What's up with this 'big day' thing?" he asked.  
  
"Well, we asked the Ouija, and it said that we had to bring the Green Fairy back to life, by going to Egypt and reading from the book of the dead."  
  
"Oh. Radical." Baz yawned, looking out the window.  
  
"Good morning." Jareth said, striding into the room, his hair wrapped in a turban of towel.  
  
"Good morning." Nicole ((who had finally woken up.)) Baz, and Sarah said.  
  
"Good morning E-Wan!" Jareth said, pointedly at Ewan, who was putting on his shoes.  
  
"Oh, hey." Ewan said, absently. He was trying to make the bunny ears with his shoe laces.  
  
"Nice shoes." Jareth picked one up.  
  
"Thanks." Ewan put his hand out to get it back, but Jareth yanked it away.  
  
"I'm not done looking at it."  
  
"But. . . I need it." Ewan pouted.  
  
"Too bad. I think this shoe would fly very well."  
  
"What?!" Ewan asked, his eyes growing wide with fear.  
  
"Yes. Quite a lovely flying machine." And with that he threw it out the window. Ewan watched in horror as his shoe disappeared forever. He crumbled on the ground and sobbed.  
  
"Oh, Poo, Jareth!" Sarah scolded. "I know you have to do wicked things to people before you're yourself in the morning, but why did you have to pick on Ewan's shoe?"  
  
"I'm sorry. What was that I heard about Egypt?"  
  
"Oh, yes, we have to go to get the book of the dead." Sarah informed.  
  
"Alright." Jareth said nodding.  
  
"WAIT! What am I supped to do?! I only have one shoe!" Ewan said miserably.  
  
"You can borrow some of mine." Jareth said, running up to get a pair of boots. Ewan sulked.  
  
*Well, that's all for chapter 9. . . read and review!! 


	10. Chapter Ten

Woooops. . .  
  
By: Anne Parkington  
  
Recap- The Ouija tells them to go to Egypt to get the book of the dead and revive the green fairy or else the movie will bomb, the drunkards aren't so drunk any more, and in a moment of morningy rage, Jareth chuck's Ewan's shoe out the window. Now he's run off to let him borrow a pair of boots before they head off to Egypt. Does that Sound, sound to you? Good! ^^  
  
  
  
Chapter 10 ((wow, we're in the double digits now! Bwee!!))  
  
Ewan grumbled at the loss of his shoe, and stared in complete disappointment at the boots Jareth had dropped in front of him. Although they were very nice boots, with shiny buckles and zippers, they just didn't fill the spot in his heart as the others had. He jammed them onto his feet anyway and joined the group as they waited for Jareth to open a portal.  
  
"Wait, question." Ewan said.  
  
"Yes?" Sarah asked, looking over her shoulder.  
  
"Isn't this book of the dead written in ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics?"  
  
"Yes, so?" Sarah asked, missing the problem completely.  
  
"Do we KNOW how to READ ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics?"  
  
"Sure. Why not?" Sarah smiled at him. Ewan beamed back. Nicole fumed, digging her nails into Jareth's arm.  
  
"Ach!" He cried, pulling away from her, but Nicole's grasp was so tight, she just came with him.  
  
"What the hell are you DOING, Nicole?!" Jareth asked angrily. Nicole just stared at Sarah and Ewan. Jareth rolled his eyes and opened the portal.  
  
They walked through and were immediately greeted by the sweltering heat of Egypt's desert sun. They all panted heavily, and ran over to the nearest oasis. A squat little man with bright pink eyebrows greeted them and introduced himself as Richmad, the camel salesman.  
  
"Hello! I am Richmad, the camel salesman. You look like you guys could use some camels."  
  
"Yes, please." Sarah started, but Ewan interjected.  
  
"WAIT! We don't know how much these camels are! Besides, it wouldn't matter unless any of us have any money. . . "  
  
The group shrugged and shook their heads.  
  
"I rest my case." Ewan said.  
  
"Well, if you don't have any money, I'll gladly take the red head over there." Richmad said, his eyes gleaming in Nicole's direction.  
  
"Mehhhh. . . " Nicole whined, and hid behind Jareth.  
  
"Ehh, tempting . . . but no." Jareth said, glaring at Nicole.  
  
"I'll give you my ring!" Sarah said, taking off a blue-gemmed ring from her finger.  
  
"Oohh! Pretty!" Richmad cried, his eyes sparkling.  
  
"WAIT! Don't give him THAT, it's too nice!" Hoggle cried, trying to grab it from her.  
  
"Sorry, Hoggle, but we really need camels and supplied to keep us from dying out there.  
  
"Right, of course! Anything you want!" Richmad said, and snatched the ring from her. For the ring, they got 6 camels, 6 head dresses and enough supplies to get them across the desert and back 10 times. But considering the amount of food Jareth intakes, it was just enough.  
  
They traveled for 4 hours when the heat was really starting to get to poor Ewan.  
  
"Ohhh, it's sooo hot!" He complained. He looked at Sarah who laughed. He winked at her, flashed her a dazzling smile and ripped off his shirt.  
  
"Ahh, that's better. . . " He sai-  
  
Anne:Gasp! WAIT! Rewind that!!   
  
He winked at her, flashed her a dazzling smile and ripped off his shirt.  
  
Anne: Wow! Do it again!   
  
He winked at her, flashed her a dazzling smile and ripped off his shirt.  
  
Anne: Heehee -stares in silence for 2 hours- Okay onward.  
  
"Ahh, that's better. . . " He said, fanning himself.  
  
"You better hold onto your shirt, you'll get a bad sun burn if you don't keep it covered up." Nicole said.  
  
"Ahh, I can handle a little sun burn." Ewan said bravely.  
  
Anne: I'm sorry, I just can't help it!   
  
He winked at her, flashed her a dazzling smile and ripped off his shirt.  
  
Anne: I'm not sure you're all getting the picture!!   
  
and ripped off his shirt.  
  
Anne:  
  
and ripped off his shirt.  
  
Anne: All together now:  
  
and ripped off his shirt.  
  
Anne: Okay, that's all. :-)  
  
That night, Ewan winced as Sarah put some aloe onto his scorched back.  
  
"I told you!" Nicole said, laughing at Ewan's pain.  
  
"Shut up Nicole, no one likes you." Ewan snapped.  
  
"Hold still, Mr!" Sarah snapped.  
  
"Ohh I have a question. . . " Baz asked, through a mouthful of beans.  
  
"Yes?" Sarah asked.  
  
"Well, do you know where we're going? To find this book of the dead?"  
  
"Yes. To the ancient Egypt museum in Cairo." Sarah rubbed more onto his back.  
  
"Then why didn't we get out there?" Baz shot a glare at Jareth.  
  
"YEAH! Then I wouldn't have sun poisoning on my back!!" Ewan snarled.  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm dumb." Jareth smirked and closed his eyes ready to sleep.  
  
"Lift up your arms." Sarah ordered, and wrapped him with bandages, "Jeez, man! Use some deodorant!" She managed to say, before passing out. Ewan's eyes widened to the size of diner plates.  
  
"Sarah?" He asked.  
  
Anne-Heeehee   
  
He winked at her, flashed her a dazzling smile and ripped off his shirt.  
  
-Just thought that was a good spot to leave the chapter off on! Well, ta ta all! And don't forget to review!! -A.P- 


	11. Chapter Eleven

*Woops!*  
  
-Hey I know it's been a while since I've updated but things have been ferocious with the play (we go up at the end of this month! -sweat drop-) and homework and not enough free time to write happy fan fics for all my happy fan fic readers!! (you are happy. . . riiiight?) SO that's why I haven't written in a while :0)  
  
-Chapter Eleven-  
  
"Sarah!?" Ewan cried, as she fell onto his lap.  
  
"ARG!" Nicole screamed wildly, dragging Sarah off and shaking her wildly.  
  
"What. . . wa?" Sarah asked vaguely, opening her eyes. She screamed when she saw Nicole's flaming eyes and pushed herself away.  
  
"Trying to give Ewan a - a - a - a. . ."  
  
"A?" Sarah asked, raising her eyebrows. Nicole looked around, leaned in a whispered,  
  
"A BJ!"  
  
Sarah gasped.  
  
"WHAT!?! Oh my god, GROSS!!" She screamed.  
  
"You're telling ME?! You are disgusting."  
  
"ME?! No! That's not what I was trying to do, you ninny! I passed out because of his smelly pits! Jeez, you've got some issues. I was NOT trying to blow Ewan!"  
  
"Nicole! You're so dirty!" Ewan snapped turning away from her.  
  
"I-I-Well, that's what it looked like." Nicole pouted and turned away from him too. Sarah rolled her eyes and went back to wrapping Ewan's back in bandages.  
  
"Grr!" Nicole snapped, curling up on a mat and trying to fall asleep.  
  
"Tomorrow is a big day! I can't wait to read that book! Do you realize what this will do for Moulin Rouge?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"You will be able to continue filming, and it will be a big hit and you will make millions and millions of dollars!!" She tightened the last strip of cloth and patted his back lightly.  
  
"REALLY?!!" He asked excited looking at her with $ signs in his eyes.  
  
"Yeup!" Sarah smiled, curling up on her mat.  
  
"Good night, Ewan." She said.  
  
"Good night." He said, laying on his stomach, because, let's face it, who in their right mind would sleep on a sun poisoned back?  
  
-----The next morning-----  
  
Jareth opened his eyes, and looked deep into the light brown ones of. . . Polly, the camel.  
  
"ARAGHHHHH!!!" He screamed, jumping away onto the next mat, which happened to be occupied by Baz. He landed on him with a thud, waking up up.  
  
"ARRAAAAGHHH!" Baz screamed, seeing Jareth's spandex-ness laying on him. "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" He cried.  
  
"Oh my god! Who's being raped?!" Sarah and Nicole cried at the same time, sitting up and looking around franticly.  
  
"ME! I'm being raped! Help me!!!" Baz cried. Jareth wasn't paying attention at all though; he was still completely petrified of the camel, and was curled up in a ball, he just happened to be on top of another person.  
  
"JARETh!!" Sarah screamed, grabbing a rock and chucking at him.l  
  
"OOMPH!" Jareth grunted, rolling off Baz and writhing on the ground. Sarah ran over to him and shook him.  
  
"Why did you try to rape poor Baz!" Sarah asked angrily.  
  
"I didn't! I just landed on him when I jumped away from the camel. She was in my face!"  
  
Sarah looked over at the camel and smiled.  
  
"Stupid Goblin King." She rolled her eyes and stood up.  
  
"Okay, let's get going! If we start to leave now we'll probably get there by noon. " Sarah threw her things into a bag and hooked it onto her camel.  
  
"WAIT!!!!!" BAZ cried.  
  
"Yea?" Sarah ashed.  
  
"Why can't Jareth just make a portal to where we need to go now?" Baz asked, rubbing sand out of his eyes.  
  
"OH! Right!" Sarah blushed. "That's a very good idea." She looked over at Ewan who was still sleeping.  
  
"Ewan! Wake up!" She called. He rolled over onto his back and let out a howl.  
  
"OWWWWWWWW!!" He screamed, jumping up.  
  
"Pain?" Nicole asked stupidly. Ewan glared at her and shoved his stuff into a bag.  
  
"No." He grumbled sarcastically. He stood up and walked over to Sarah.  
  
"Save me!" He muttered. Sarah laughed, and Nicole growled.  
  
"Okay every one!" Jareth waved his hands-making a portal appear before them. They all walked through and emerged in the lobby of The Ancient Egyptian Museum. A passing librarian stared at the odd bunch as they looked around in awe at the high shiny marble ceilings and columns.  
  
"Uh. . . can I help you?" The librarian asked.  
  
"Yes! Can you show me where I could find the book of the dead?" Sarah asked.  
  
"Sure. Come with me." The librarian said, leading them into a room. They walked down a hallway and through a heavy wooden door and into a brightly lit room with Egyptian paintings on the walls and artifacts dotted around in glass cases.  
  
"So, what's your name?" Hoggle asked her. She looked down at him and blinked.  
  
"Marian. . . " She trailed.  
  
"I'm Hoggle!-"  
  
"Marian the Librarian? Like the song?" Baz interrupted, sliding over to her.  
  
"Why, yes!" Marian giggled. "'The Music Man' was always my favorite musical!"  
  
"Me, I rather like 'Oklahoma!'." He said.  
  
"The book is over there." Marian said to Sarah vaguely, still looking at Baz. Hoggle grumbled and went over too look at it with the others.  
  
"Wow! It's beautiful!" Nicole sighed, pushing her face against the glass.  
  
"Yes indeed. Hey, Marian!" Jareth called.  
  
"Yes?" Marian asked.  
  
"Can we get this out so she can read it?"  
  
"What?" Marian asked, her nostrils flaring.  
  
"Um. . . could we get this out so-"  
  
"TAKE OUT AN ARTIFACT?!! ARE YOU INSANE?!!" She screamed, blowing fire at them. They ducked and scampered away, leaving Baz to stare at her in shock.  
  
"Uh. . . I'll call you." He lied, and dashed out after them.  
  
They all sat on benches outside the museum pouting.  
  
"We NEED that book." Sarah wailed.  
  
"Maybe we can use my fame to talk to the curator and see if he can let us?" Nicole asked, flipping her hair.  
  
"Maybe. . . " Sarah said glumly.  
  
"Or you could sleep with him." Ewan shrugged. Nicole huffed.  
  
"Hmph! It's lovely to know that you think so LOWLY of me!"  
  
"Good. Because I do." Ewan snapped back.  
  
Nicole's mouth opened and closed a few times, but Ewan just ignored her.  
  
"We could break in and steal it." Hoggle joked. Sarah looked at him.  
  
"You are a genius!" She cried.  
  
"What? No! I didn't mean REALLY!!" Hoggle argued.  
  
"So? I took it seriously! We should! We could definitely do that!" Sarah's eyes glittered as she began to think over ideas in her head.  
  
"Sare. . . c'mon! Listen to what you're saying! You're suggesting we break into a museum and take one of the most valuable pieces with out getting caught. It's crazy!" Baz said.  
  
"No! It's not! It's possible! Don't you want to save your movie Baz? Nicole? Ewan? Don't you want to make millions and billions of dollars?"  
  
"Well. . . " The three of them trailed.  
  
"Wait! Why can't we just go in, steal it and make a portal back home?" Jareth asked. Sarah stared at him then beamed.  
  
"You are SUCH a genius!" She cried, grabbing his face and kissing him on the cheek. She turned happily and ran back into the museum. Jareth stared, then grinned. He turned to Nicole and laughed.  
  
"She kissed me!"  
  
Nicole scowled.  
  
They all walked into the museum again and found Sarah standing in front of the book, staring at it longingly.  
  
"Ready?" Ewan asked.  
  
"Yup." Jareth replied. Ewan gave a sharp kick to the glass, sending shards everywhere. Sarah grabbed the book as the alarm sounded. Jareth waved his arm and they all leapt through the portal and back to the underground.  
  
*Sigh-oh it does feel good to be writing again! Tell me what you think!  
  
-A.P~ 


	12. Chapter Twelve

Woops-  
  
Wow, its really been a hell of a long time, huh? Wow. . . well I have a perfectly logical explanation! Really, honestly I do! I was grounded, school was hell and, there was that problem with windows XP which is what I have so. . . yeah. What matters now Is that I am back and everything is happy and joyous!  
  
Chapter 12  
  
Exhausted from their exciting adventure in Egypt they all collapsed in Jareth's throne room and napped all afternoon. When they woke up, they discussed what they were going to do next.  
  
"Well, we first need Hoggle to go back and get the green fairy and bring her back here so we can do the ceremony. Then we'll need someone to get candles and crap to create the right atmosphere." Sarah instructed.  
  
"Atmosphere?" Nicole asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Yes. You know, the mood." Sarah explained.  
  
"I know what THAT is!" Baz exclaimed happily. Sarah smiled kindly at him then turned to Hoggle.  
  
"Can you please go get the green fairy?" She asked. Hoggle beamed, happy to be of use.  
  
"Surely, Sarah!" He exclaimed, and ran out of the room, she then turned to a passing goblin.  
  
"You!" She said, "will you please get some candles and dark drapes?"  
  
"Of course, Sarah." He said, and dashed off.  
  
In a matter of 10 minutes, everything was ready. The room was completely black except for a few candles in random places. The green fairy was laying on the table in front of them, and Sarah faced them, her face illuminated by the glow of a twisted yellow candle. She let out a chilling cackle that made every one cower.  
  
"Sorry, couldn't resist." Sarah giggled. Jareth groaned.  
  
"Sarah, must we go through all this? It really is quite hot in here with all these drapes, and I. . i. . I'm not to fond of the dark!" He gave a shifty glance at the group as they stared at him.  
  
"Hahahahah! Big man Jareth is afraid of the dark!" Nicole hooted.  
  
"Hold your tongue, Woman!" Jareth snarled, grabbing her by the neck.  
  
"Jareth!" Snapped Sarah. Jareth released the frightened red head and sulked in the corner. Sarah felt a slight feeling of regret for not letting Jareth just kill Nicole, but she knew better than that.  
  
"No one mocks the Goblin King." Jareth growled.  
  
Nicole scurried over to Baz who was transfixed by the glowing of the candle by his foot.  
  
"Anyway, can we get this over with please? Jareth's right, it's very hot in here."  
  
The group nodded.  
  
"Okay. Ah do ram mus te- et benneh, dichimus teebee. Kinsia vos redeemes Lonocat bern meCHINO!" Sarah read. The flame flew from the candle on the table onto the fairy. It lifted her up and spun around until all they could see was a ball of green and yellow light. Suddenly it burst into a million smaller balls of light leaving Fee Vert in the middle. Her red eyes snapped open and her wings began to flutter. Baz sighed with enormous relief and started to clap. Every one joined in. The fairy sand 'The hills are alive over and over again."  
  
"Good Job, Sarah!" Ewan ran over to her and gave her a hug.  
  
"Thanks, but this makes me sad, that its over." She smiled.  
  
"What? What's over?"  
  
"This. . ." She stepped back and Nicole walked over to him.  
  
"Ewan." She said.  
  
"What?" He asked, his brow wrinkled with confusion.  
  
"Ewan, the shoot is starting soon."  
  
"Nicole what are you talking about?" He asked sharply.  
  
"Ewan, you better not be drooling, that's gross." She grumbled.  
  
"What?!" He yelled. He opened his eyes, and wasn't in the labyrinth at all. He was sitting on his couch in his trailer, next to Nicole. He looked at the TV as the credits of Labyrinth rolled by.  
  
"What happened?" He asked faintly.  
  
"You fell asleep. . . I'm sorry I woke you up, but we're going to start shooting soon. . . come on."  
  
"Wait. . . it was a dream? The green fairy didn't die, and Sarah doesn't like me?! What!?!" Ewan groaned with disappointment.  
  
"Have you been having dreams about Jennifer Connelly again? I told you, she's married, and so are you! So lets just GO! C'mon!" Nicole pulled him up and they walked out into the studio.  
  
"It was really weird! You and her were fighting over me! It was so hott!" Ewan cried.  
  
"In your dreams, Ewan." Nicole laughed.  
  
THE END 


	13. Ps: an extention

Ps!  
  
Baz: Wait wait wait!! Anne!! You're soooo dumb! I never got to do my rendition of magic dance!!!  
  
Anne: Oh!! You're right, Baz! I am SOOO dumb! I am so sorry! Here: I'll write it now:  
  
Baz: Good. . ·g r u m b l e·  
  
As Nicole and Ewan walked through the door to their studio, their ear drums were blown out by the blasting stereo in the corner. Ewan almost had a heart attack when he heard David Bowie's 'Magic Dance' was the song of choice.  
  
"Oh my god, Nic! Do you know what that song is?!" He cried grabbing her arm.  
  
"Uh. . no. . Ewan what-" but she didn't have time to finish her sentence for suddenly, out of nowhere, Baz cam streaking across the set in super tight leather pants and a billowing silk shirt. The two actors let their jaws drop to the floor as they watched him strut around. He skipped every third step and shook his hips a little. He turned around and shook his rear around, all while singing along.  
  
"Baz?" Nicole asked, but the music made it as though she didn't speak at all.  
  
"BAZ!" She screamed, while her and Ewan scrambled towards the stereo. They gave the plug an almighty tug, and the music stopped. Baz turned sharply and paled when he saw his actors staring at him.  
  
"Uh. . . hey guys." He grinned.  
  
Nicole and Ewan started laughing hysterically. Baz scowled but then couldn't help but laugh too.  
  
"That's almost as funny as the time I caught you singing to 'idiot boyfriend!" Nicole howled, pounding the floor.  
  
Ewan pouted.  
  
"I didn't." He hissed.  
  
"Yeah you did."  
  
"I'd like to see that!" Baz screeched.  
  
"N-no. . . " Ewan stuttered, but Nicole was already fiddling with the stereo again. And as soon as he heard that funk beat he couldn't contain himself. He sprung up and started to dance, but Nicole and Baz were right behind him all the way, and even though they were scaring the poor lighting booth techies to DEATH they had the best funking time ever!  
  
(The End. . . for real this time) 


End file.
